Meet Simon and Matt.  This is their homework for the day.  Learn the animals of Africa.

Simon and Matt are planning a trip to South Africa.  There is Matt; suave, caring and worldly.  Matt is ex airline crew and can tell the type of aircraft by simply listening to it stacking over London.  ‘Yup, that’s an A380 with so many engines and carries so many passengers’ – boggles the mind.  Matt has been everywhere, but to Africa.

Simon.  Quirky, caring and prone to Ninjaing at parties.  Simon is ex-Zimbabwan, actually ex-Rhodesian, so remembers running for his life and being nervous back in the day.  Simon is excited about going to South Africa and we are planning the trip. Matt is excited about going to South Africa and very nervous.  About everything.  Especially snakes.

And geckos.  And Creepy crawlies.  Not so much the political scene, but those creatures that can gobble you up, like Mr. Python, or bite you, like Mrs. Black Widow.  Finding himself between Momma Hippo and Junior and all other sorts of scenarios he can imagine.  Oh, and an Elephant in musth – reverse buddies, reverse!


Seriously Matt, we are only kidding when we tell you that on landing, they hand out Shambok’s (whips) to arm you against the animals.  There are no nurses standing by to jab you against Malaria.  The lions do not, I repeat, not walk freely in the streets of Johannesburg.  You will not be required to wear an animal skin or learn how to ululate on demand.  Ah, maybe just a little bit. Swimming with the sharks is voluntary.

Despite the slight trepidation, the idea of travelling to South Africa is getting us all excited beyond words.  Vast landscapes, ocean scenes, pristine beaches.  Gorgeous cities, wine farms and Camp’s Bay. For starters. Everyone has advice to give, places to visit and things to do, so much they want Matt and Simon to have the best experience possible.  Which I promise you, when I have finalised your itinerary, you will have, and be planning the next one.

If the creepy crawlies don’t get you first.  (Did I tell you about the scorpions, the Rhino’s, the …)  Just KIDDING!


pics c/o 123rf.com and daily mail.


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